As I stated in my last journal entry, “I had no idea how to manifest a 180-degree about face; however, change quickly found me” and, in late-November of 2009, part of that change appeared when I came upon a house to rent – a place that honestly found me at the right time.
After summer had ended, I had started looking at houses to buy. I even went to look at a fixer-upper up in the Hills, but realized that I was not ready for the responsibility that came with being a “homeowner.” Besides, I don’t even know if I am going to be in Los Angeles in three years. I decided to cease my house hunting efforts and concentrate on making my condo a “home.”
One beautiful Wednesday afternoon in November, I was hiking with a friend when we momentarily paused in front of a house at the base of the Hollywood Hills. For a number of years, I had passed this house on my regular hikes, but had never really “looked at it.” As I stood with my hiking companion, I noticed a “FOR RENT” sign on the green metal gate that separated us from a very picturesque, 1920s Hollywood Bungalow.
Two nights later, I decided to peruse Westside Rentals in search of the little Bungalow. I was curious about what it might look like inside, as well as what was the listed rental price. In no time, I found the house and spontaneously emailed the Landlord, who replied to me by the following morning. His wife was available to show me the house at 4PM. I met with his wife at the house, which she told me had been now up for rent for over a month. The price had been also been considerably lowered. And there was an interested couple, although they had not yet put down the deposit.
The Landlord and I went inside and I quickly noticed not only the beauty of the house, but also the overwhelming sense of goodness that the place radiated. Every friend of mine who has visited me since moving into the house in December has commented on the “good energy” that exists here. One friend actually described the space as having a ”neutral energy.”
I am not a Religious person, although I am the granddaughter of a well-respected Russian Orthodox Priest and went to Catholic School for 9 years. Over time, I have come to understand my “Faith” or “Belief” as being a composite of what I have learned through the years. I consider myself a Spiritual person and call myself a Russian Orthodox Taoist Agnostic.
Before we go any further: What does this mean? My grandfather’s faith/belief in a “Higher Being” drove him to put his life (and his family’s life) on the line in order to save thousands of lives – be it Jewish, White Russian, anti-Nazi German – during World War II in the name of the God he believed in. In the God that he believed existed. Today, I do not necessarily use the name God to describe the energy that is in our lives. I believe that this “Higher Power/Being” can be called by a variety of names, which are found in every Religion known to Man. Who am I to know what his/her/its name IS.
When I was at Denison University, I took a Taoism class my sophomore year. It changed my life. Philosopher Lao Tzu wrote in “The Tao Te Ching” about the ways in which Man tries to control life – and perhaps his/her destiny – and I found comfort in the way he felt one should approach life. One of my favorite sections of the book spoke of a leaf floating down a river, with the current, until it came upon a bolder. As this leaf, Man forces themselves to go left, crawl under the boulder, work their way up and over it or drill right through the center; however, nature – the natural path (of the water!) – would lead us simply in the direction in which the river was naturally flowing – perhaps to the right of the boulder. And so, the Tao Te Ching is one of the most important books I will ever own.
Now, you might ask: how is she Agnostic if she believes in a “Higher Power”? Agnosticism is not the belief that there is NO HIGHER POWER. (That is Athiesm.) I believe simply what I previously wrote two paragraphs ago: “Who am I to know what his/her/its name IS.” Who am I to understand who or what this Energy/Power is? What language, words or level of human understanding do I have to comprehend what It is? I am human. I have limited knowledge and I am secure in my beliefs and my place on Earth to not have a solid, explainable answer. It is what it is.
Most of my life, I have been suspect of people who say that they can read Tarot Cards; that Astrology is important, that they see auras or spirits; that they can see the future or are psychic; that the Law of Attraction (or Manifestation) works. In the last few years, I have begun to consider – open myself up to – the possibility that some of these things – although not all – may be… genuine. Recently, Manifestation seems to be clarifying itself in my mind’s eye. I see now how people can manifest negativity and manifest the positive.
My house is proof positive that something is going on here. As I walked through the house with the Landlord, I also realized that it had everything that I had been looking for when I had considered buying a house. There was a sunroom that could become a photography studio; a front and backyard; a cheerful kitchen; hardwood floors and high ceilings; a fireplace. It had everything that I had put on my “list” of things that I wanted in my first home.
At 7 AM the following morning, I received a call from the Landlord, who immediately offered the house to me. The couple that was interested in renting the property had the initial deposit ready; however, the Landlords preferred me. I can only believe that this house was meant for me. That I manifested it through my positive attention to what I wanted.